As I was walking down the street with Shisho, we passed a group of elementary school kids. It must have been a group walk home from school. They were all wearing randoseru backpacks. I heard them singing. "When I become a first-grader, When I become a first-grader, I wonder if I can make 100 friends? I want to eat with 100 people, At the top of Mt. Fuji, Eating rice balls— Munch, munch, munch away!"
A smile naturally formed on my face. They must have been first-graders, walking together and singing in unison. Shisho had also been looking in their direction like me, but something about him seemed off. When I asked him what was wrong, he replied, "I hate that song." He looked somewhat pale, or so it seemed. "Why is that?" "......It scares me." Scared? Of such a cute song? However, his face was completely serious, as if to show he wasn't joking. "It's a trauma from my childhood. Out of all things, this one still terrifies me." "Why?" The group of elementary school students was about to disappear from our view, repeating the song one last time. Shisho let out a long breath, then twisted his lips into a bitter smile. "The part about wondering if you can make 100 friends is fine. It's full of hope and expectation of wanting to make lots of friends. The problem is what comes after. 'I want to eat with 100 people. At the top of Mt. Fuji, rice balls.' ...No matter how you think about it, one person is being left out, right?" "Huh?" "Myself, plus 100 friends. There should be 101 people in total." I had never thought about it, but now that he mentioned it, he was right. "Thinking about that one person who was left out and alienated, it scares me." Shisho's eyes didn't look like they were smiling until the very end.
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